This post is not original….got an e-mail from some arbit site which is trying to sell the attract true love book. For some strange reason I clicked on the link. I almost liked what it said so I though I should share it with my blog readers
#1. The Past
The best predictor of your partner’s future behavior is his past behavior. Is there a chapter of his past that bothers you?
Odds are good that old habits will return, so you need to decide if your relationship could survive a repeat.
Of course people can change, but here’s where it gets tricky: you need to figure out if the sleaze ball chapter of his past was specific to that stage of his life. To find out, ask him what behaviors he considers to be a violation of his trust, and tell him what your expectations are.
Ask him to explain why he did what he did. If the reasons he gives are related to specific situations that no longer apply, that’s a sign that it was just a temporary thing. Say, he used to party too much because he lived with a bunch of his frat brothers after college.
But if the triggers for his past bad actions could easily be present again – he used to party too much because he was stressed – it could mean that those habits are part of who he will always be.
I so agree with this part…this is where I think family is very important, no matter what, you are how you have been brought up and the past experiences you have been through
#2. The Present
Remember that you’re dating the man he is right now and not the man he might be one day. That said, don’t get attached to a certain potential career or financial outcome.
Say he’s an MBA student with big plans to become CEO, but will you feel just as lucky to have him if student loan bills are the only concrete result of his degree?
It’s great to be attached to his passion, but you need to be okay with the possibility that the rest of the world won’t be as convinced of his talents as you are. The frustration with the difference between what you expected and the reality is one of the leading sources of relationship unhappiness over time. See him as he is right now and if you are happy with what you see – he’s the right mate.
I don’t agree with this part completely….but maybe this has some merit….will contemplate about it!
#3. The Marriage Deadline
We women often think that there is a magic age we think we should be married by.
Whether your number is based on beating your biological clock or more random factors, like how old your sister was when she got married, it can hold power over you and put you at the high risk of marrying the wrong guy as that birthday draws close.
When we women feel that we are falling behind on our bridal time line, we are more likely to settle for “Mr. Almost Right.” We get scared of having wasted precious time, so we can stick with guys we normally wouldn’t.
To make sure that such fears aren’t driving your decision, ask yourself if you would still be with him if you were younger. If your answer isn’t a strong “Hell, yes!” then recognize your urge to put a ring on it for what it is: fear of falling behind on your time line and being alone. All women should trust that true love and happiness will happen for them one way or another, and marrying the wrong guy isn’t the best way to get there.
This is soo true too….never though of things like that…this will be another check on my list!